#the aperture science computer aided enrichment center would like to kindly ask you to not break the laws of physics during your testing period #if you feel the need to wreak such existential mayhem #please equip the patented singularity proof aperture science communication device to document your excruciating demise #friends and family will be awarded with a complementary plaque for your contribution to Science
Image 1: It’s time for my breakfast.
Image 2: WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
— A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one.
This is how I stayed alive my senior year
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks of time like this.
I KNEW IT WAS COMING
This is it. This is the post that killed me. Fairwell cruel world.
SEND HELP IM SERIOUSLY HYPERVENTILATING
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
Me when I walk with my mom somewhere
are you spongebob or squidward I can’t tell
somehow I’m both